Browse Professor Quotes

You just can't tell someone they're stupid anymore because god forbid that a stupid person knows they're stupid.
—Prof. Hanafy -Differential Equations
You made me think, and that is a bad thing...
—Professor Behneger, PO0410: Fundamental Concepts of Politics
Let me put it this way - if you reach for a second blue book, I'll Kill you.
—Professor Matt Mullane, SC250 Perspectives on War, Aggression and Conflict Resolution, speaking of the in class final.
She's a naked women, I'm a teenage boy...Here's my money, give me my ticket.
—Prof. Jacobs talking about going to see Jane Fonda naked in the movie "Coming Home"
Thanks for the dialogue but we're wasting our time here.
—Prof Twomey, Business Law Intro
If crap were water you would be the Great Lakes
—Father Tacelli, (jokingly) to a student trying to explain God
Descartes would have said 'IM therefore I am'
—Professor Lawrence, Perspectives III, Regarding the Age of Instant Message Dating
“Before the Prohibition of marijuana in the 1930s, marijuana seeds were used for bird seed. So your canaries and parakeets used to be a lot happier. And they saw colors.”.
—Professor Eve Spangler: Social Theory.
I don't know, I'm waiting for the third Lord of the Rings to come out
—Professor Mullane, Perspectives on War, Aggression and Conflict Resolution, in response to the theoretical question 'is evil necessary for good'?
So they're making a new movie about Martin Luther with Joseph Fiennes from Shakespeare in Love. Oh boy is he hot. I knew there was an aesthetic reason why I would be interested in this movie.
—Professor Eve Spangler, Social Theory
Saturday night my wife was out of town... I bought a 6-pack of those delicious Easter Cadbury Eggs... And I ate all 6! Let me tell you, Those things are better than sex! They are cheaper than sex, and they sure as hell last longer!
—Professor Bernard Carpenter
God loves everything that exists...except the BC Bookstore.
—Father Himes, TH517: Sacramental Principle. Explaining why one of the course textbooks had not yet arrived.
God Bless BC Dining Services for having Starbucks instead of that brown-water company Dunkin Donuts.
—Professor Turner, Challenge of Justice, as part of his opening comments for the day
Hot Babes! Click here... X-X-X: YOUNG! Click here...
—Professor Herbeck, Cyberlaw...discussing banner ads on the web.
Appallingly, Budweiser is the best selling beer in Ireland.
—Professor Hafner PO 504 International Politics of Europe
Did you know I prosecuted Marky Mark?
—Prof. Tim Flaherty (Intro. to Law), explaining his exploits in the court room.
Only if the preists truly love each other
—Father Tacelli, in response to a student's question, "Do you think preists should be allowed to marry?"
Why did we care so much whether or not blowjobs were going on in the oval office?
—Prof. Lannutti talking about norms in Interpersonal Communication
Monogamy is the norm because polygamy is difficult economically . . . and women get jealous.
—Professor Worley of Anthro 101 talking about why American men do not keep harems.
Fallacies not Phalluses
—Written on the board before Prof. Haskins lecture on fallacies in Argumentation Theory
discussing Gloucester's attempted suicide in King Lear:
Think how he'll fall...just like a Teletubby!! Like Tinky Winky!!
—Professor Doherty, Shakespeare
By the Way I don't read Playboy, a friend told me about it.
—Professor Carpenter, History, Talking about an article in playboy.
It's a great moment for me to be able to stand in front of the class and say slam-pig.
—Prof. Lannutti in Interpersonal Communication